Social Primer

Commenting and advising on the interaction between would-be paramours would seem a bit off subject here on SP, but we respond to the readers and the readers this week have been pushing their romantic frustrations. Public behavior is addressed here and this subject definitely falls into that category. In the quest to form a more perfect gentleman, here is a little insight from a woman waiting to meet her man. Anne writes: Re: Changing our meeting habits Dear SP, We single girls run around town ... Read More

Well, another perfectly good evening was close to ruination. The cause? Inconsideration and a total lack of decorum by a few cretins masquerading as gentlemen. There is an appropriate quote from Fitzgerald in Tender is the Night, I believe, lamenting the lack of decorum in men but the passage escapes me so I'll take this time to paraphrase (crudely). There are many things a man can and should do when out and about in public: be polite, well-dressed, groomed, always courteous ... Read More

The ideal of the well-dressed man is a simple one but apparently difficult to obtain. Men should be impeccably turned out and never ostentatious. The well-dressed man about town should be unremarkable yet elegant and well-groomed. His clothes should be age-appropriate, fit well and be made of appropriate fabric and color. There are few occasions which allow us to see men in their finery on a public stage and awards shows -- for better or worse -- present this opportunity. The Golden ... Read More

A reader writes: Hello SP, I recently threw a large, catered cocktail party where many of the guests arrived with a thoughtful "hostess gift" -- a term my mother used to refer to the bottles of wine, boxes of chocolates, etc., proffered by guests upon arriving at a private party. However, only a minor fraction of my guests contacted me after the party with a thank you call, email, or card, which I find puzzling as most of my friends have what I ... Read More

SP has been on an extended stay in New York City after a sweet country Christmas down South. I have a complicated relationship with the big city that's been going on for a while now. I've lived in NYC on and off for a few years, and am alternately attracted and repelled by the crazy energy and constant amusement it provides to citizens and visitors alike. But this trip was a new and eye-opening experience. I have never been around during that ... Read More

Rule 1. Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present. George Washington Consider yourself forewarned. SP is channeling Andy Rooney today. After last week’s roundup of memorable Christmas quotes about the reason for the season and all that, SP ventured out into the world only to discover more rudeness in that concentrated week than I had encountered all year long. I don’t know what it is about the holidays but people seem to ... Read More

A collection of favorite quotes, a top ten, if you will. 10. Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold 9. I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men ... Read More

..... Men have their imagery and that's it. And don't tamper with it. And don't call it fashion. It is style.    (Bill Cunningham) One of my heroes, The New York Times photographer Bill Cunningham, gives an overview of men's style before it disappears under winter coats: Young men are tweaking classic looks with unexpected color.  Here is the link. The colors are used in very masculine ways but there's nothing that screams. Oh, I don't know, how far down in Greenwich Village you might see ... Read More

SP takes a fair share of heat.  When there is an SP feature in a newspaper’s online version or on a blog, oh Lord do they come for me in the comments section. As you can imagine the fate of anyone who deigns to assess civil behavior, the positions staked on this domain are pretty much sitting ducks for anyone with even questionable aim. In the past, I have never responded to defend myself, but now someone has stomped on my turf ... Read More

Isn’t it funny — and by funny, I mean sad — that the only photo around of a man opening a door for a woman is from the 1940’s? This fact should tell you more than you need to know and only serves to re-enforce the resolve of SP to offer up these little finds unearthed in my archeological digs. So here we go. A man opens a car door for a lady. Yes, you know this and you practice this on a ... Read More