Social Primer

SP has been thinking a lot lately about social relationships and how we deal with people when things aren’t so rosy, and civility is hard to come by. Yes, in the ideal world we are shiny happy people but that notion is just that, an ideal that we may strive for but a reality we often fall short of.  How do we deal with the friends and acquaintances that annoy us, are rude or ridiculous or just plain tick us off? How ... Read More

  SP has written before about that particular creature known as the Conversation Hog and judging by readers’ responses, it seems many of you have come across this porcine annoyance a time or two as well. Now let us turn our attention to another player in the little show called The Art of Conversation and he is The Interrupter. You surely know him well. He lurks in the shadows of the conversation stage and, in the boldest of cases, struts right down center ... Read More

Readers are often asking SP if there are etiquette guidelines on texting and emailing. The answer is definitely yes and there are a million articles out there addressing the subject ad nauseum. Don’t send a message in haste or when lost in your cups. Always let an angry email rest for a night before firing it off. This is all common sense. One hopes.   A finer point may be made in the details and you know that is where SP likes to dwell. A ... Read More

If you ever wondered why writers write and probably shouldn't go on TV, here is your answer. The good news? It seems people do still have an interest in acting right. Thanks to Allie Mac Kay and KTLA for asking SP to be "on the air", as they say. View here. Read More

  SP has a confession to make.  SP is a serial double-booker. After years of hiding this affliction, I have recently been called out after an egregious lapse in manners that ended up offending a favorite hostess. So now herewith, a confession wrapped in an essay, offered as mea culpa begging for forgiveness. Now before I lose some of you with what may be deemed another one of SP’s rare and fancified problems hold on and read on. We like to address all ... Read More

In a world of relaxed morals and lost traditions you may think this one a little obsolete, but SP is here to tell you that this is important. There is nothing more insulting than to be introduced to a man who is a peer and the cad refusing to stand to shake your hand. A man NEVER shakes hands sitting down. Never. Simple to say, simple to do. For the record, a man never reaches to shake a woman’s hand. If she ... Read More

A reader writes: Dear SP; I am inviting about 30 people to one of those “zero” birthdays in an exotic locale two years from now. I am offering lodging and most meals. I am also offering a two-night side trip. I have already sent the first “Save-The-Date” notice. Some of the guests are couples and some are singles. My dilemma is that I do not want the single invitees to bring anyone. I know that if one receives an invitation addressed to “Mr. John ... Read More

Of all of the elements of living the good life that a man should master, being a good guest must surely rank at the top of that list. It matters not if you are invited to a tailgate party, church social, summer barbeque, destination wedding, or a country house for the weekend, in your role as the good guest you should be gracious, grateful, considerate and above all entertaining. One of these fundamentals without the other is like driving a car with ... Read More

Two recent queries from readers seem to have hit a few nerves when it comes to dining out these days. Dear SP, The recent economic times have created some manner situations which have me flummoxed. Specifically, I lost my job to "downsizing" and … have, on several occasions, been dining with friends who then attempted to pay for my meal. While I know they are exhibiting kindness, I felt slightly uncomfortable. I always say "that's not necessary", then "thank you" when they insist, because ... Read More

He was dressed like a gentleman, but his behavior gave a truer indication of him than did his garments. --Manners for Men, Mrs. Humphry, 1897 At a recent dinner party SP was seated next to a beautiful and successful woman in full control of interesting conversation peppered with amusing anecdotes. Her date seated across from us was by all signs a gent. By appearance he was handsome, well-dressed, well-groomed, and in good shape. It was not until the meal had begun in earnest did ... Read More