Social Primer

Belaying - is a climbing technique of securing the climber during his climb. First let’s get this out of the way right at the beginning. There are many people out there who say Social Climber like it’s a bad thing. SP has never thought this way. Hello, there is no mistake that Social Primer rhymes with Social Climber. I ask you, who doesn’t want to climb? Isn’t that the American Dream? To climb your way to the top? Who doesn’t want to meet ... Read More

He was dressed like a gentleman, but his behavior gave a truer indication of him than did his garments. --Manners for Men, Mrs. Humphry, 1897 At a recent dinner party SP was seated next to a beautiful and successful woman in full control of interesting conversation peppered with amusing anecdotes. Her date seated across from us was by all signs a gent. By appearance he was handsome, well-dressed, well-groomed, and in good shape. It was not until the meal had begun in earnest did ... Read More

  A reader asks, “SP, how do you cheek-kiss a woman to greet her?” My first reaction to this question was to ask if you suddenly are about to find yourself at a fashion show or a high society ball? This act of cheek-kissing – or double kissing or air kissing as it sometimes called as the participants more often than not never touch lip to cheek only pretend to be kissing – was, for a long time, not witnessed in most normal circumstances ... Read More

SP cannot tolerate a VIP room, the ideal or the reality. What is the point? Whether I am cosseted inside rubbing shoulders with the self-appointed beau monde or huddled outside with the hoi polloi, it makes no matter.  People who want to associate with people they think are as good as they are (unlikely) or associate with those they think better than they are (more likely) should stay at home. VIP rooms are full of types who only want to be seen with the kind of ... Read More

  During the holidays, it can be so easy to get wrapped up -- as it were -- in the cost of things that we end up missing the real spirit of the season. There seems to be a competitive necessity to outspend or at least match the value of a gift expected or already received.  SP thinks this is all hooey. First of all, you should never feel obligated to give someone a Christmas gift. Even when someone gives you a gift ... Read More

[caption id="attachment_216" align="alignleft" width="196" caption="       Mister P. Elegant"][/caption] Have you ever been dining in a restaurant and some member of your party makes everyone at the table uncomfortable by being rude to the server? Although it is not a common occurrence, I admit I have been witness to such behavior. In fact during a recent dinner at a very fine restaurant, a member of our party who was new to us -- let’s call him Mr. P. Elegant -- made just such a ... Read More

SP has a confession — and correction – to make. As the the tone of these pages has developed, the astute reader may have noticed that the pronouns are slipping all over the place. What started as an outlet of exasperated expression (and aggravation relief), SocialPrimer was almost always written in first person. Then as the audience grew, SP became a little alarmed by the increasing limelight and began to express his views behind the veil of the Royal We. SP felt that his (my) dictums would be better received if coming from an institutional We. ... Read More