Social Primer

A reader writes: Hello SP, I recently threw a large, catered cocktail party where many of the guests arrived with a thoughtful "hostess gift" -- a term my mother used to refer to the bottles of wine, boxes of chocolates, etc., proffered by guests upon arriving at a private party. However, only a minor fraction of my guests contacted me after the party with a thank you call, email, or card, which I find puzzling as most of my friends have what I ... Read More

Isn’t it funny — and by funny, I mean sad — that the only photo around of a man opening a door for a woman is from the 1940’s? This fact should tell you more than you need to know and only serves to re-enforce the resolve of SP to offer up these little finds unearthed in my archeological digs. So here we go. A man opens a car door for a lady. Yes, you know this and you practice this on a ... Read More

How many times do you find yourself in this social (or business) situation? You are standing in a covey of people immersed in a rolling conversation when all at once you realize that you don’t know the names of some of the people you are talking to. There is a queasy feeling of awkwardness rising in your chest and you don’t know how to correct the situation so you ride the roll through to the inevitable conclusion, parting ways without ever knowing ... Read More

Belaying - is a climbing technique of securing the climber during his climb. First let’s get this out of the way right at the beginning. There are many people out there who say Social Climber like it’s a bad thing. SP has never thought this way. Hello, there is no mistake that Social Primer rhymes with Social Climber. I ask you, who doesn’t want to climb? Isn’t that the American Dream? To climb your way to the top? Who doesn’t want to meet ... Read More

A reader writes: Dear SP, My wife and I dined at an upscale S. Florida restaurant in celebration of my 40th birthday. Let me put the meal into perspective by saying this restaurant is owned by a celebrated owner/chef of 20 years - not your everyday dining experience. The chef challenges local patrons, during mango season, to haul 200 lbs of mangos to his restaurant where you are justly rewarded dinner for 2 - a five course tasting menu. Cut to the chase. We ... Read More

I see the bad mood arising. I see trouble on the way…. Here we go. You are geared up for a night out on the town, in a club or at a friend’s. You have gallantly finished the work week, put away the daily grind and myriad distractions that comprise the lives we live and you are ready to raise hell enjoy a civilized night out. You and your friends, or your date, or what have you have gathered on this great night ... Read More

There is this amazing woman who owns one of my favorite escapes in the world, Poor Richard’s Landing in Provincetown, Cape Cod. The woman is a fine and eccentric creature of a certain age and I love to be in her presence. She was friends with Tennessee Williams and Ten, as she calls him, used to stay on the Landing in the summer. Every time I get the chance I pepper this lady with questions about the Bird (as Gore Vidal calls ... Read More

Without giving too much away to make this point, SP will attempt this scenario. While watching one of those fascinating/insipid reality show reunions recently, one element stood out so incredibly and  has stuck in the craw. What could it be you wonder as those shows by nature run anathema to all we do here on the SP. Yes, forgetting the rude outbursts, name calling, inappropriate tears and far too intimate revelations there was a civil violation that stood out above all the ... Read More

SP has been thinking a lot lately about social relationships and how we deal with people when things aren’t so rosy, and civility is hard to come by. Yes, in the ideal world we are shiny happy people but that notion is just that, an ideal that we may strive for but a reality we often fall short of.  How do we deal with the friends and acquaintances that annoy us, are rude or ridiculous or just plain tick us off? How ... Read More

  SP has written before about that particular creature known as the Conversation Hog and judging by readers’ responses, it seems many of you have come across this porcine annoyance a time or two as well. Now let us turn our attention to another player in the little show called The Art of Conversation and he is The Interrupter. You surely know him well. He lurks in the shadows of the conversation stage and, in the boldest of cases, struts right down center ... Read More