Social Primer

If you thought the 2010 Academy Awards red carpet scene looked like the March of the Penguins you would not be too far off the mark. To push the point further, one could say the men looked like clones of one another with no individual style. Again, your aim would be precise. And this is entirely the point. At least when we talk about men's black tie. Men should strive not to stand out, so I note with pride and satisfaction that ... Read More

Well, another perfectly good evening was close to ruination. The cause? Inconsideration and a total lack of decorum by a few cretins masquerading as gentlemen. There is an appropriate quote from Fitzgerald in Tender is the Night, I believe, lamenting the lack of decorum in men but the passage escapes me so I'll take this time to paraphrase (crudely). There are many things a man can and should do when out and about in public: be polite, well-dressed, groomed, always courteous ... Read More

Rule 1. Every action done in company ought to be with some sign of respect to those that are present. George Washington Consider yourself forewarned. SP is channeling Andy Rooney today. After last week’s roundup of memorable Christmas quotes about the reason for the season and all that, SP ventured out into the world only to discover more rudeness in that concentrated week than I had encountered all year long. I don’t know what it is about the holidays but people seem to ... Read More

SP takes a fair share of heat.  When there is an SP feature in a newspaper’s online version or on a blog, oh Lord do they come for me in the comments section. As you can imagine the fate of anyone who deigns to assess civil behavior, the positions staked on this domain are pretty much sitting ducks for anyone with even questionable aim. In the past, I have never responded to defend myself, but now someone has stomped on my turf ... Read More

Isn’t it funny — and by funny, I mean sad — that the only photo around of a man opening a door for a woman is from the 1940’s? This fact should tell you more than you need to know and only serves to re-enforce the resolve of SP to offer up these little finds unearthed in my archeological digs. So here we go. A man opens a car door for a lady. Yes, you know this and you practice this on a ... Read More

SP has written, on many an occasion, of his love for the Go Cup, or Roadie to some. It is the essential partner to any aspiring bon vivant. What do you think makes us so social and eager to meet you? Booze, baby. And where do you keep that booze? In a Go Cup. And heretofore the roadie of choice has always been, and will remain, the classic red Solo cup. This icon will never be replaced in roadie lore, so embrace ... Read More

How many times do you find yourself in this social (or business) situation? You are standing in a covey of people immersed in a rolling conversation when all at once you realize that you don’t know the names of some of the people you are talking to. There is a queasy feeling of awkwardness rising in your chest and you don’t know how to correct the situation so you ride the roll through to the inevitable conclusion, parting ways without ever knowing ... Read More

Readers' questions answered. Reader 1 I am hoping that you could help me find a solution for properly responding to offers to shake hands in business situations. You see, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I don't particularly want to announce upon meeting someone new. Handshaking is very painful for my affected hands and causes visible wincing. A weak handshake seems inappropriate, however. What would you advise for this unfortunate side effect of RA? Many thanks, Kristen Dear Kristen, In business or in social situations, a woman is not ... Read More

Now that the season is upon us, get out there and enjoy the culture. If you are invited to the philharmonic or a chamber music performance, don't be intimidated if you've never been. Herewith a simple list of what to expect and how to prepare. Rules Familiarize before you go - Find the music or video of the performance on the internet and listen to the work ahead of time to familiarize yourself with the music. You know, just like you would do if ... Read More

This recent article in the New York Times has me thinking about social interactions and the cold and flu season. How many times have you been out and someone shakes your hand or offers you a kiss on the cheek only to follow the act up with “I have a terrible cold.” Oiy. What next? SP makes a hasty retreat to the nearest loo and washes the hands like Silkwood. Well, in spite of my diligent precautions, SP recently succumbed to the worst ... Read More