Social Primer

A reader writes: Hello SP, I recently threw a large, catered cocktail party where many of the guests arrived with a thoughtful "hostess gift" -- a term my mother used to refer to the bottles of wine, boxes of chocolates, etc., proffered by guests upon arriving at a private party. However, only a minor fraction of my guests contacted me after the party with a thank you call, email, or card, which I find puzzling as most of my friends have what I ... Read More

SP takes a fair share of heat.  When there is an SP feature in a newspaper’s online version or on a blog, oh Lord do they come for me in the comments section. As you can imagine the fate of anyone who deigns to assess civil behavior, the positions staked on this domain are pretty much sitting ducks for anyone with even questionable aim. In the past, I have never responded to defend myself, but now someone has stomped on my turf ... Read More

SOCIAL PRIMER: POP-UP SHOP OPENS IN ALPHA GEAR FOR GENTS ON MELROSE AVENUE SP has opened a new pop-up shop within Alpha Gear for Gents in West Hollywood. See what the LA times has to say here. The dilemma of finding appropriate gifts for gentlemen is resolved. Social Primer: The Shop offers a well-edited -- and affordable -- selection of made-to-order offerings including monogrammed stationery, playing cards, drinks coasters and napkins, soaps, and belts.  Also announcing the new SP reversible bow ties available ... Read More

Readers' questions answered. Reader 1 I am hoping that you could help me find a solution for properly responding to offers to shake hands in business situations. You see, I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, which I don't particularly want to announce upon meeting someone new. Handshaking is very painful for my affected hands and causes visible wincing. A weak handshake seems inappropriate, however. What would you advise for this unfortunate side effect of RA? Many thanks, Kristen Dear Kristen, In business or in social situations, a woman is not ... Read More

Well, we're getting better at the TV thing, especially when it's a subject worthy of ranting about.  This time it's that old stand by: cell phone and texting etiquette. They call it Textiquette, which I don't mind. See the clip here... Read More

Readers are often asking SP if there are etiquette guidelines on texting and emailing. The answer is definitely yes and there are a million articles out there addressing the subject ad nauseum. Don’t send a message in haste or when lost in your cups. Always let an angry email rest for a night before firing it off. This is all common sense. One hopes.   A finer point may be made in the details and you know that is where SP likes to dwell. A ... Read More

    When it comes to invitations, SP (reluctantly) acknowledges that he can be something of a snob, hence the pretentious image above. I love paper, thick paper, gilded-edge paper, all of it. The first act when encountering an envelope holding an invitation is to run a finger along the lettering to see if the sender invested in one of the holy trinity of stationery: embossing, engraving and letterpress. It is true that the invitation sets the tone for the event and in this day of Evites and emails, a paper invitation in ... Read More

[caption id="attachment_17" align="alignnone" width="296" caption="Ernest Hemingway Wrote it Down"][/caption] There are many ways to keep track of the pieces of information careening in and out of your life. There is your iPhone or Blackberry, your blog, the napkin at your lunch table, even the gum wrapper in your pocket. All will do for jotting down a phone number, a grocery list, the next great idea that will change the world or what have you. But where will you consolidate this meandering mess? Thoughts come to you ... Read More

The phrase “social obligation” always seemed to me like an oxymoron. How could something social, which is supposed to be fun, be considered obligation, which connotes negativity, commitment, to attend with reservation? Well, now I know. As we grow older and our social circles grow wider, it can sometimes become a chore to attend all of the gatherings we are invited to. But this is no excuse to not attend, or worse yet, not to acknowledge an invitation. SP is resolute in ... Read More

A friend recently asked “What is the proper RSVP or Thank You when invited by email?” Good question. This is a confusing proposition in this day of email invitations — or god forbid, “evites” – but an important one. Since the purpose of manners is to make those around you feel at ease, this is an issue that needs immediate attention. The answer is simple. One should answer an invitation in the manner it was received: a paper invitation requires a paper ... Read More