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Why doesn’t anyone say “I beg your pardon” anymore? It is such an elegant phrase. Or “Pardon me”. So much better than “Excuse me” or the ubiquitous “I’m sorry.” or worse, “sorry”. I suppose there has been misuse of the phrase by some, inferring some hostility or negativity when uttering “I beg your pardon”, almost threatening. But this is wrong and should not remove this great phrase from our lexicon. Certainly no cause for us to use “I’m sorry” exclusively. I must hear that 5 times a day.
Granted, it is better to hear “I’m sorry” than not. I can’t bear when someone trangresses your civility and waltzes on past as if you were a stop sign. But all this, I’m sorry-ing is a bit taxing. I usually respond with, “Oh, don’t be.” or “It’s quite alright” (when I’m feeling a little British). And yes, I admit I am a frequent abuser of “I’m sorry.” But I vow from hence forth to commit to “I beg your pardon.” or “Pardon me”. The only problem then will be that many, I fear, will respond “huh?”.
“I beg your pardon
1. Please repeat what you just said. “Pardon me – what did you say your name was?”
2. I am sorry for what I just did. “Oh, I beg your pardon! I didn’t see your foot there!”
3. May I please have your attention? “Pardon me, does this train go to Oakland?”
4. I do not agree with what you just said. “Pardon me, but I think you’ve got it backwards.”
This means literally: I ask for your forgiveness – in other words, I am sorry.”
Of course, if you’re British aristocracy…
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this post has 13 comments
I, too, love the use of the phrases “I beg your pardon” and “Pardon me.” Growing up in the South my family used them quite often, and consequently so do I.
I think one key here, as SP has pointed out numerous times, is that the manner in which one speaks can be just as important as the content of the speech. I would imagine it is entirely possible to sound rude and condescending while saying “I beg your pardon” if you say it quickly and in a disingenuous manner while looking down at the ground. But if you make eye contact and convey your apologetic state with your face as much as with your words, there shouldn’t be any misunderstanding by the recipient.
Just my thoughts, for whatever it’s worth.
posted on March 8, 2012
Jeffrey in Texas
3803
I hadn’t noticed this, but I may be the only person I know who says “Pardon me” instead of “Sorry” or “Excuse me.” I suspect I get it from my parents. I don’t really ever say “I beg your pardon” in place of “I’m sorry,” but I’ll sub it in for “Excuse me” fairly often.
posted on March 1, 2012
ADW
3785
If you say “I beg your pardon” instead of “I’m sorry”, you will come off as pompous and pretentious. The listener will probably think you are being condescending rather than sincerely apologetic.
Hence the need for this post.
posted on February 29, 2012
JZ
3782
I’ve always liked saying “A thousand pardons” myself.
posted on February 29, 2012
Adam
3775
I love those phrases, and I remember distinctly when I learned them. I was taking summer art classes and there was a very nice girl in the class named Rain. She said “pardon” instead of “what?” and “I beg your pardon”. I had to ask her what it meant, and I was so charmed. I have made a point of saying them ever since.
Yes, two American girls, one named Yosa and one named Rain making friends in Kansas.
posted on February 28, 2012
Yosa
3773
Dear SP:
Oh dear. In the Anglophilic house I grew up in I was instructed that one should only say “excuse me,” and never “I beg your pardon” or “pardon me,” as doing so was an immediate class identifier, and not of the best kind. I remember the few times I slipped, it would trigger a nasty snarl from my father, if not at least an icy, withering stare for having said something he considered beneath contempt, akin to the horrors of doing something so base as chewing gum. Nancy Mitford and Jilly Cooper have written about this subject extensively, and most amusingly.
Regardless of all that, I would much prefer the widespread use of “pardon me” to the rude lack of acknowledgment when people either bump into me, or worse, push me aside when charging through doors or on the sidewalk. Here’s to good manners! Reggie
Dear Reggie,
Your points are well taken, in a cultural, anthropological kind of way. I am going to go out on a limb here and make a confession. I am not a British aristocrat. Sadly, I know. I would be eager to hear more on this subject. Language and class is a fascinating subject. I added a link to the post to further the conversation.
Cordially,
SP
posted on February 22, 2012
Reggie Darling
3759
I like “I beg your pardon”, though it doesn’t spill from my lips frequently. Your post brought up a pet peeve- “What was your name?” I always want to reply “when?” It’s not like I’ve changed it.
Dear Joel,
I do hope this isn’t pointed at me because I have a terrible memory. I often have to ask people their names again, but I do put it more politely. As in, “Please tell me your name again.” This is a big character flaw, I know. In my defense, I rarely forget a face.
Cordially,
SP
posted on February 22, 2012
Joel
3758
I prefer, “pardon me.” I certainly can live with, “I’m sorry” and “excuse me.” However, I abhor, “huh.”
posted on February 22, 2012
Svend
3757
Phrase is a definite staple in my vocabulary. I didn’t realize this was such an ostracized phrase.
posted on February 22, 2012
aMj
3756
i am so on board. i am simply sick of all these “sorries”. i have an aunt with whom i spent much time growing up + she used “pardon” almost exclusively. perhaps it’s a southern thing. on any account, i love it.
xx,
Aja Lake
posted on February 21, 2012
Aja Lake [the gold hat.]
3755
i also wanted to mention my skin crawls when i ask someone a question and they do not hear me and they respond with “what”? please people, respond with “pardon me” or “excuse me”?
posted on February 21, 2012
cRc
3754
very interesting post as this exact discussion came about at a dinner party I attended a few months back. most in attendance felt many americans misunderstand this phrase taking it as offensive and threatening as you stated. i myself have found that if i remove “I beg” and simply state “pardon me”, my intended audience finds it more pleasing. for instance, in your example 2 “pardon me, I didn’t see your foot there”.
posted on February 21, 2012
cRc
3753
I have always felt a bit servile, as if a supplicant, when using this phrase. A simple yet stern “sorry” works well. Depending on what the offense was inflection and demeanor can be adjusted.
posted on February 21, 2012
Daniel Tellison
3752