Grooming – A Man Shaves His Face & Combs His Hair

The husband who gives himself a shaving holiday on a day at home is in the same class as the wife who doesn’t put on her make-up or take her hair out of curlers until afternoon. Amy Vanberbilt

Now while we are a long way away from Mrs. Vanderbilt’s world of dressing for dinner and never letting one’s back touch the chair even in the privacy of one’s own home, we are not so far away that we don’t want to put the best face forward, and this means even at home. And, I am sorry to say, even on the weekends. If we live alone and are absolutely positive that no one will come to visit from 5 PM on Friday to 8 AM on Monday, then by all means forgo a shower, a shave, clean clothes, and a toothbrush. Wear old sloppy sweats and lounge in complete privacy behind pulled down shades and locked door. Like I said, we’re alone and we only have ourselves to depress. And if this is our practice, we are probably going to stay alone or God forbid, attract the kind of mate who appreciates this style, or at least tolerates it. But, if there is any chance whatsoever that we will leave the house, answer the door, walk to the mailbox, go into town, head to the local bar or attend Sunday dinner at the parents’, then we have got to make an effort. There are basic expectations for a man and while we may get away with shortcuts & scrimps, there are certain standards we should uphold and certain debasements we should be unwilling to sink to.

There is an amazingly eccentric lady I know who lives in the Faubourg Marigny section of New Orleans. My first request whenever I enter the Crescent City is to be taken to see Miss Mary. She is quite a character and you never know what words of wisdom will tumble from her.  On one memorable evening gathered around her kitchen table, she  once told me, “Honey, you should always look your best when you leave out of your front door. You never know when you’re going to meet your destiny.” Wise words to live by, don’t you think?

The first layer of the civilized man is personal grooming. There are the obvious reminders of clean hair, clean & trimmed fingernails and smooth, freshly-shaved face. Here are a few practical directions on the very basics of grooming. Should a man grow a goatee in business? No. When should a man get a manicure, pedicure or facial?  At least twice a year. Lint roll the dandruff and dog hair off our shoulders and floss our teeth. In all things be pleasant. We are not cave men.

The Face you face the world with – First of all let’s just get to the notion that says a real man shouldn’t care about his face. Nonsense and utterly untrue. What man doesn’t care how his face looks? You can deny this until the cows come home but that doesn’t stop the fact that the face is the first thing people see when their eyes fall on you. Now this isn’t to say we should be overly concerned and spend hour upon hour in the mirror at home or go out of our way to gaze longingly upon our own reflection when in public. Don’t be Narcissus, old sport. But the basics of face are something we should all be acquainted with. Men are lucky in the face department because we don’t have to worry about makeup and eye goop, and although this isn’t backed up by any science, I believe men stay naturally exfoliated because we shave everyday and that must remove a lot of the dead skin layer that makes one look old, tired and dull later on in life. All this naturalness notwithstanding, there are a few thing to incorporate into your daily routine. Before you get all squirmy, I want you to repeat after me. Grooming: it’s not just for gays. Yes, you can skin a buck and you can run a trot line and it won’t kill you to rub a little lotion on your face. Trust me. Your penis won’t fall off and you won’t have a sudden urge to belt out a show tune. Get over that hang up and get on with it.

The Basics of Face:

No Soap on Your Face. First of all, soap should never be used on the face. It strips the natural oils  and you just don’t need it. There are many many face cleaners on the market at every price level. I swear by Cetaphil which can be purchased at any corner drug store and kept in the shower. Just squirt a little in your palm, rub it all over your face and neck and rinse. Simple.

Shave in the Shower. I believe it is better to shave while you are in the shower after you’ve done all your other business. This makes shaving a lot easier on your face as the razor slides smoothly over the steam-softened stubble and there is a lot less mess than splashing around the sink.  Find one of those inexpensive little mirrors that don’t fog up and attach to the tile with suction cups or spring for the kind that attach to the shower head and go to town.

Don’t Overwash Your Hair – For the same reason that you don’t use soap on your face, you shouldn’t wash your hair unless it’s really dirty or greasy. Shampoo strips the natural oils and that natural oil is what makes hair shine, lay flat and control dandruff. On a normal week,  try washing your hair every Sunday. And be sure you use conditioner every time you wash your hair. If your hair gets smelly, say from sitting around a bonfire, take a little shampoo in both your palms and press it on the top of your wet hair then rinse. You don’t need to scrub down to the scalp. If your hair is a little on the dry side, and most of ours is, then squirt a little conditioner on your wet but unwashed hair on Wednesday. Be sure to rinse it out. This is my trick and I have big, thick, bush hog hair.

Soap is Soap – It doesn’t really matter if you’re using Irish Spring or a pricey French milled number, soap is soap and it does the same thing at every price. The thing to consider is the scent. If you plan on using lotion, deodorant and cologne, you should consider the combination of scents that will greet people for most of the morning when you are at work or out in public. Other than that, lather away. Run your fingernails across the face of the soap until you have little moon slivers of soap under each nail. Wash this off and you should have presentable fingernails all day along. Unless you are a gardener or a mechanic and then, you’ll have to rinse and repeat.

Seal the Deal with a Cold Splash – All that warm, steamy water is great for smooth shaving and opening up your pores as you clean your face, but when the shower is done, it’s a good idea to close up the shop. Turn off the shower and then splash cold water onto your face. This closes the pores, which closes the doors of your face that cause blackheads.

Spend a Little Quality Time in the Mirror:

Moisturizer is Just Another Word for Lotion – It may sound like a girly word but get over it. You absolutely have to put some lotion on your face. And it should be Face Lotion. Body lotion is too thick and will clog up those pores you just cleaned, and clogged pores mean blackheads.  Moisturizer does not have to be expensive. In fact, it shouldn’t be. Lotion is lotion and all you need is a thin coverage and a little SPF protection. Admittedly, it is tough to find affordable face lotion if you’re a guy. They just don’t make that many at the drug store level. Everything is designer branded hoo ha at department stores, and in drug stores it’s all marketed to women. That’s ok. We are modern men. Saunter over to the face aisle in the drug store and buy your moisturizer there. You can get a decent little bottle for under $10.  It’s that simple. I like Kiehl’s Facial Fuel best of all and use this when I have a little bank. But this Aveeno is just as good when times are lean.

Banish the Little Hairs – Since we are going for the clean cut look here, let’s take care of any little hairs that don’t belong. Oh wait, you say you want to feature some facial hair? Well, I am generally 100% against it and I will tell you that 95% of women are as well, but if you must sport some face fashion, that will be covered in a later post. For now, let’s take care of the blank canvas. You should have some tweezers and a trimmer as part of your daily dopp kit. You can buy both at the drug store. A nose trimmer is available at Target for $10 dollars. It’s battery operated and will change your life. Just turn it on and take care of any unsightly sprouts around the brows, the nose, the ears. Pluck any long unsightly hair on your neck or above the shave line (from tip of ear to edge of lip).

So that’s it really. Keep it simple and keep it natural. There are more installments coming (Hair, Scent, Haircuts, etc) and feel free to comment below on your own personal routines or favorite products. I know the fellows will be glad to hear what you’ve discovered.

Coming Soon: Natural Hair (if you have it) – Hair is a touchy subject for men. Whether you have it or not, men seem to be particular about the hair and some of us get it wrong wrong wrong. Let’s start with a few basics. Realizing that there are as many different textures of hair as there are cars on the highway, the goal for all of us should be to look smooth and professional. I personally like the slicked down, shiny late 50’s-early 60’s look sported by TV’s Mad Men, but I know that that look is created by thick greasy, sticky pomade which takes a week to wash out. So that’s out of the question. The best we can hope for is a little facsimile.  First you need to face the fact that you need a brush and a comb. I know, I know. I was a big fan of the floppy hair in the face, all bangs and swoosh look for a while, but when you graduate from college you can’t look like you just woke up on someone’s sofa. You’re going to need to cut, comb and style you hair. It’s a fact. Embrace it.

The key is to keep your hair from looking thirsty. Avoiding over-washing will help, but even the best hair can use a little product. My favorite for my thirsty mop? Kiehl’s Silk Groom. Just a tiny little dab will lay your hair down and give it shine. I could not live without it on a daily basis. Of course, for more hold, like in the case of fancy formals, there are other products you can turn to. And we’ll discuss those next. Black tie hair: it’s not just for ladies.

**This is one man’s routine. Mine. Yours will differ, depending on your skin type, hair type and the climate where you live. Intended to be a guide, a starting point. Not intended for the dandies who already know. Hence the word, Basic.