SP Hit List: Straight Up Rude

It is not often that we take to commenting on popular TV shows on these pages, but sometimes an opportunity comes along that suits our purpose so distinctly who are we to let one of those pop flies sail by? The show in question is the latest stop on that multi-city train wreck The Real Housewives. This time the franchise has pulled into Washington, DC and boy, is it a doozy. Even by the series’ standards of rich-people-behaving-badly entertainment, this one is a shocker. I am not ashamed to admit that I have caught a couple of episodes of the show. I mean, the White House crashers alone piqued my interest. But the standout has got to be the Sotheby’s real estate agent, Stacie Turner for one reason and one reason only. She can fling a phrase. Favorite line uttered on television this year? “What kind of home raisin’ is she getting in London? She was straight up rude.”  This woman Cat attends a dinner at Stacie’s aunt’s house and proceeds to remark that the wine is no good and then leaves before dessert is served. Yes, Stacie. She was straight up rude.

First of all, you would never tell a hostess that anything in her house wasn’t absolutely perfect. If the wine is bad, pretend to drink it and then casually set it down. If the food is rancid, swallow the bite and push the rest around on your plate. Suffer you must, but you would never, Cat, make a comment or a face. As for leaving mid-dinner, well, I am speechless. Unless you are faced with an emergency would  you leave a dinner party while the meal is still being served, Cat. There are, of course, extenuating circumstances that you would have informed your hostess of long before if you need to leave early, and that card should be played once in the lifetime of your friendship with the hostess. I just have to echo Stacie. What kind of home raisin’ are you getting in London?

The second crime came from the White House crasher herself. She agreed to host a party for a friend for his birthday. Nice. Then she doesn’t show up for the party until many of the guests are already in. And how did she show up? Did she sneak in and offer effusive and quiet apologies to the honoree? Oh no. She arrived by police escort in a white limo. I can’t. I just can’t. If we ever needed a spot on example of the condition called Piss Elegance this display was textbook. Tack-ola.

Let’s get down to the rudimentary rules of hosting. That is something we can all be reminded of.  Here is a link to the post about Drinks Party Rules but on a general note, let’s touch base with the basics. First of all, if you’re going to volunteer to host a party you have to follow through with all of the duties. It is an honor and a privilege to do so and the duty should not be taken lightly. I once asked a friend to host an event in NY and she said that while she would love to, she didn’t do any of the heavy lifting, like sending out invitations, and if she was in town that night she would stop by. Uh, no thanks. If one is asked to host a party, here’s what is expected. First, I expect you to buzz it and by that I mean that I hope that you will get on the phone and the emailer machine and let your friends know that this is going to be a great event and you can’t wait to see them there. Second, you are expected to show up early, BEFORE the event starts, and get in place ready to receive guests. This not only puts the person throwing the party at ease, but also allows you to greet and introduce guests who might not know each other as they arrive. Last, be a live wire, entertain, introduce and contribute to the convivial air.  Do not get smashed, but do get tipsy. Isn’t that what we come to parties for in the first place?

So there you have it. A mini rant, or a couple of them actually. Never show dislike in the presence of your hostess. And consider being asked to host an event a privilege. Once again, common sense is not so common. The basic rules of civilized society boil down to one thing. Generosity. If we strive to think of others and not only our own little selves, then good manners will fall into place. Good day.