Socially Obligated

The phrase “social obligation” always seemed to me like an oxymoron. The usual meaning of the phrase refers to attending an event because the host was last at your own event. Or hosting a dinner for a host who recently entertained you. Or more likely, the act of throwing a drinks party to repay all the parties you boozed it up at over the past year. But I still always wondered how could something social, which is supposed to be fun, be considered obligation, which connotes negativity, commitment, to attend with reservation? Well, now I know. As we grow older and our social circles grow wider, it can sometimes become a chore to attend all of the gatherings we are invited to. But this is no excuse to not attend, or worse yet, not to acknowledge an invitation. SP is resolute in responding to every personal invitation. I am not talking about corporate or spam invitations in your inbox, but invitations from friends and acquaintances or business associates. If a man reaches a point where he is too careless to answer an invitation, people will think he is too busy – or worse, too self-important — and cease to invite him. I recently overheard a socially-ambitious man ask, “How do I get my name on so and so’s list?” Skating over the fact that it’s always seen as bad taste to want invitation, I don’t know why. Don’t we all want to be invited to the party? (I know I do).

To become popular and always come home to a mailbox (or more likely Inbox, these days) full of invitations, the first step is simple: never ignore an invitation and RSVP to everything Yes or No. SP cannot think of a more egregious breach of civility than to ignore an invitation. This is not to say you have to run yourself ragged by attending every opening of every door, but you absolutely, positively must respond, hence, the term Social Obligation. If a man desires to live here in our society, and not sulk in his dirty cave, he washes his face, combs his hair, dons appropriate attire and yes, answers invitations. It is right. It is civil. And it will keep you in good stead and not to mention fine company and good drink. God forbid you missed the Party of the Year because you ignored the invitation to last Sunday’s cookout.

SP Recommends: Answer an invitation immediately. If it arrives in your inbox, consult your calendar and your other half and respond asap. If it arrives in the mail or by phone, respond in kind and be quick about it. Don’t let invitations grow dusty or lost and forgotten, which is easy to do. I know.