Social Primer Best Dressed Men: 2010 Academy Awards

If you thought the 2010 Academy Awards red carpet scene looked like the March of the Penguins you would not be too far off the mark. To push the point further, one could say the men looked like clones of one another with no individual style. Again, your aim would be precise. And this is entirely the point. At least when we talk about men’s black tie. Men should strive not to stand out, so I note with pride and satisfaction that this year’s attendees have come closer than anytime in recent memory to near sartorial splendor. Of course, that stunning achievement does not make my job any easier trying to find the classic great looks. Since I’ve vowed not to tear down the disasters and missteps (just too easy and very unseemly for us here on SP) we will have to raise the bar. Taking into account fit and tailoring, styling (peaked lapels or notched?), accessories (cummerbund, waistcoat, bow tie), hair (comb it), grooming (no scruff please) and age appropriateness (leave the skinny four-in-hands to the teens.

But first, a few observations and trends. The glaring one is Tom Ford’s hostile takeover of the Academy Awards appears complete. Not only has he dressed the majority of the men on the list, he outfitted the hosts of the show — Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin, commanded the red carpet himself and presented an Oscar. The trend of the wide peaked lapel is firmly established. Only one man on this year’s list sported a notch lapel. It is great to see most of the men chose to wear white pochettes (pocket squares). A new trend that played well is the emergence of the shawl collar and the scooped waistcoat. There were many pleated shirts and actual opera pumps in patent leather. And low and behold, tailoring was so prevalent the men who chose not to spend the time with a tailor stood out like slouchy sore thumbs. I’ve thrown in the towel on expecting clean shaven. It’s a trend too entrenched to budge. All in all, it was a banner year for proper and appropriate evening wear on the gents.

Herewith the list of the men who have embraced the call of classic and done it well.

Colin Firth (in Tom Ford)

Jake Gyllenhaal (in Burberry)

Tom Ford (in Tom Ford)

Chris Pine (in Ralph Lauren)

Taylor Lautner (in Dolce & Gabbana)

Peter Saarsgard (in Tom Ford)

Ryan Reynolds (in Tom Ford)

Lenny Kravitz (in Belgian designer Stijn Helsen)

Bradley Cooper (in Tom Ford)

Matt Damon (in Ferragamo)

Now before I get accused of being a TF groupie — though it is perhaps true — I will let you in on how the selections are made. First, there is the immediate reaction first impression. The first draft of the list is comprised. Then as we see the nominees again throughout the night, whether on TV, on stage, in the audience or at the parties the initial impression is adjusted as the details of the suit present themselves. Then the following day the photos are perused to determine if the first impressions were on target. Then diligent research is done to to determine who designed the suit. It is then, and only, then that it becomes evident Mr. Ford is the man behind five of the top ten looks. When you’ve got it you’ve got it. And this year he has it.

Finally, a word about decorum. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink. Or as Dorothy Parker paraphrased, you can lead a whore to culture but you can’t make her think or (come on, indulge me one more, I’m on a roll) You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.  This year’s attendees were all dressed up and had somewhere big to go. But what do they do once they arrive? The number offense this year was gum chewing. If I saw one more cow chewing his cud I thought I might blow a gasket. And this was not just the men, mind you. Women! were smacking gum like like Rizzo in evening gowns! I also spotted more men than I care to count shoving their hands in their pockets. Not a good look in an evening suit. Hand at your sides gents or behind your back. Not fidgeting with your suit or hair or face. And last but not least, poise. Is it too much too ask that you sit through the ceremony with a pleasant expression on your face? Yes, it is a shame that cameras are roaming the room and you’re forced to sit in one seat for four hours but deal with it. This is your one night in your chosen profession that allows you not only to make gobs of money but a pretty sweet lifestyle. Suck it up and paint on a smile. You are in show business after all. Ok. I’m done. Enjoy.