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There are few things that get under my skin more than witnessing a man walking with a woman on the sidewalk and the man not knowing or caring where he belongs. A man, or should I say, a gentle man, always walks on the street or curb side of the sidewalk in America (the Euro tradition states that a man walks on a woman’s left, which can be curb side or building side.) I wonder that some men are confused because they have read or heard the opposing opinion that a gentleman walks on the building side. This alternate opinion is based on the notion that in the case that a flower pot or soup can should fall from a ledge or an open window and plunk his lady friend on the head, the gentleman would be there to catch said pot or at least absorb the brunt of the collision with his own thicker skull. Then the argument for the curbside is that a woman is protected from a wet or muddy splash caused by a passing car. As for for the transgressions against this rule, I suspect the violators don’t know any better and saunter on in oblivious bliss.
Let us make this clear once and for all. A gentleman walks on the curb side of the sidewalk when walking with a woman. Basta. Of course, SP understands that this can be a bit awkward when walking in a city such as New York, Boston, Charleston or San Francisco when a couple may encounter many turns and street crossings in a relatively short jaunt. In fact, I once had a lady friend say to me, “I know you are well-mannered and your intentions are gallant, but you are annoying the hell out me with all this switching from side to side.” In this case I acknowledged (to myself) my mistake for making my action so ostentatious and vowed (to myself) to make my transitions smoother in the future. But the truth is, I can not enjoy the walk if I am not on the curb. It’s so ingrained that it’s damn near obsessive. Or is it compulsive? Whatever it is, I am content in my place and confident the majority of women appreciate the gesture.
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this post has 7 comments
I think David summed it up precisely, “It is best to just be mindful of which side she would be more comfortable/protected and accommodate.” Etiquette, manners and norms should be practical, at least not offensive to others! It’s counterproductive to annoy a woman by trying to be polite. That clearly would indicate that you are more into your own habits than what the lady would enjoy. And, I’m only critical because I have done this before as well, and like SP, saw the error in my ways.
As far as the toilet paper comment, TP must roll over the top to see the design. There is no argument there, unless you bought a pattern that you dislike.
posted on May 10, 2010
Barley Waters
1517
While I was taught this when young, reality is that my wife always to my left unless the situation dictates otherwise.
She is more comfortable there, and it leaves my dominant hand free.
posted on April 7, 2010
DH
1447
I don’t think the rule is so clear. A lot of times i will walk on the building side if there are beggers or other people hanging around the buildings that may approach us. It also depends on how wide the sidewalk is. It is best to just be mindfull of which side she would be more confortable/protected and accommodate.
posted on March 26, 2010
david
1414
Ahhh…. So refreshing! I just love your etiquette for men, this is an important rule for gentlemen with manners.
Miss Taryn
posted on March 25, 2010
Taryn
1411
I think the custom originated in mediaeval England. In towns, the open sewer ran down the middle of the road, and people threw “stuff” into it from upper windows. By walking on what is now the kerb side, a gentleman would protect his lady from getting splashed.
posted on March 22, 2010
Brent Longborough
1406
Not to create an uproar — but I was ALWAYS taught the opposite of what you are
declaring in this week’s piece. And that is — “a Gentleman escorted his lady-friend by walking on the ‘building
side’.”
I was told that this was to prevent your female companion from encountering any sort
of undesireable situations — whether they be purse snatchers, perverted strangers
intent on a quick and unsolicited physical encounter, or those who have a habitual
lack of residence and sit there in their own, shall we say, ill repute. Mind you, I am a 3rd generation San Franciscan — so we well know eccentrics.
Seems to me that this is a more tasteful version of the toilet paper argument — you
know the one where people get all giddy-upped on if the toilet paper should be over
the top (to show the pattern); or dispensed from the bottom. There is NO one right
answer.
Regards,
JT
P.S. I am enjoying your pieces, since discovering you from the Wall Street Journal.
Keep up the good work.
Dear JT,
Thank you for your kind words and for the interesting point you bring up
here. This is one of the reasons for SP. Perhaps not why it was created
but what the site has evolved into and that is, a forum to straighten out
the confusing labyrinth of old-school etiquette. I write from a Southern
perspective but try to include the alternatives, which are usually
European traditions.
Cordially,
SP
posted on March 19, 2010
JT
1402
My mother has always made sure that I remember this rule and, at barely age 16, this too has become a sort of compulsion of mine! Just one more great thing my mother has done for me, I guess…
posted on March 16, 2010
Juan Romero
1390