Social Primer

SP knows the thought of wearing a bow tie probably makes most of you cringe. This item is often relegated to history or the realm of the dandy and in some parts of the business world or certain geographic areas, is considered utterly uncool by the unitiated. SP will not begin to defend the bow tie (although SP wears one every chance he gets) because, well that’s a personal choice that you either to or you don’t. SP will say, because this aversion to bow ties is so pervasive among men, most of you have no idea how to tie one. But ah, here it comes. It is fall now, the formal season is upon us and sooner or later you are going to receive an invitation requiring black tie. News flash: that black tie is a bow tie.

From now until Christmas and New Year’s Eve we are in the season of formal occasions: Weddings, Greek formals, school dances, charity fundraisers, opera or play openings in the big cities. Picture the night of the event. There you are getting ready, putting the cuff links through the slits in your pressed, starch shirt, tucking in to your cummerbund and turning up the collar. You are sweating profusely because you rushed through the shower. You are late and you cannot for the life of you get the bow tie tied. Oh, SP has been there. You curse the mirror and the dog, neither of whom will help you out. You know that you can NOT wear a clip on because you are not nine and you are not a dork. You finally break down and yell for mom, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or roommate to save the day. Why put yourself through this misery? Learn to tie a bow tie. I once heard someone say tying a bow tie is just like tying a shoe lace, but from the perspective of the shoe. I think this notion has worked for me on those rare occasions when I reach a Zen place and am relaxed, on time and not sweating through the undershirt. But just in case, I print out this diagram and tape it to my mirror. Then put it back in the drawer with the cuff links until the next black tie invitation comes back around. One of the foundations of being a gentleman is to remain calm, cool and collected and who wants to curse at the dog?

Here’s the link to one of the better diagrams found on line.

SP recommends: The best business bow ties can be found at www.brooksbrothers.com. For black tie, wider is better and grosgrain a must.  This style is /increasingly hard to find but Brooks,  Neiman Marcus and Saks Fifth Avenue usually have a nice, classic selection. And, ahem, don’t forget the new SP reversible bow tie. A little eccentric, yes. But sharp as a tack, I tell you.

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