Pleased to Meet You. Please Don’t Touch Me.

This recent article in the New York Times has me thinking about social interactions and the cold and flu season. How many times have you been out and someone shakes your hand or offers you a kiss on the cheek only to follow the act up with “I have a terrible cold.” Oiy. What next? SP makes a hasty retreat to the nearest loo and washes the hands like Silkwood.

Well, in spite of my diligent precautions, SP recently succumbed to the worst head cold. Of course, occurring right at the outbreak of flu season brought on all the requisite fears when it began but — knock on wood — was just a damn head cold.  The trouble of course, is that I was on holiday and was determined not to let it ruin my time. I was resolved to be a good house guest and participate in all the activities my host had planned and not moan and lie about like a maharaja. I doped up on all the homeopathic preventions hoping to catch it before it caught me. That didn’t work. Then I loaded up on all the symptom-relief medication I could find and then that only mildly relieved but wiped me out like a five-day hangover. Of course, I kept on boozing through the whole thing and hence prolonged the thing for an additional two weeks. Why, you ask, am I telling you this? Well, as you may have guessed, SP is something of a social animal and when I am on holiday, the social events go through the roof. There are drinks parties, dinner parties, boat trips, et al. And I was determined, as I said, not to miss a beat. So how does one handle this in such an environment? When staying home is not an option and when hand-shaking and air-kissing are in full effect, what is one to do?

Keep a pleasant distance and forewarn. As awkward as it may seem, tell those around you that you are contagious. I forsook every handshake and air kiss with a declaration: “I have a terrible cold so I won’t shake your hand. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” If I said it once I must have said it a thousand times. So much so that I thought of printing a t-shirt with just such a message, but that wouldn’t have been appropriate in the circles I was circling. I know what you’re going to say. How irresponsible to take your germs to town. Well, yes, that is true. But it wasn’t the flu, this I was sure of. But yes, it wasn’t the best situation I admit but as I said, I was on a much-anticipated holiday to see great old friends and I wasn’t about to be bed-ridden.   If it were an ordinary situation of being at home, I would have certainly avoided contact with the world. I will report that neither my host, the guests in his household or those I socialized with succumbed.

At any rate, here are the Center for Disease Control’s guidelines to staying healthy this cold and flu season. I will also add that you shouldn’t drink or smoke after anyone. Hey, you never know. Try and stay healthy and please, announce yourself before you shake my hand.