Social Climber: Lend a Helping Hand

Belaying – is a climbing technique of securing the climber during his climb.

First let’s get this out of the way right at the beginning. There are many people out there who say Social Climber like it’s a bad thing. SP has never thought this way. Hello, there is no mistake that Social Primer rhymes with Social Climber. I ask you, who doesn’t want to climb? Isn’t that the American Dream? To climb your way to the top? Who doesn’t want to meet new and interesting people? Who doesn’t want to color his world with success, beauty, charm or yes, money? Come on. Who are you kidding? I overhear people use this term derogatorily all the time. “Oh, she’s such a climber.”  Give me a break. Take a look at the speaker in these situations. Nine times out of ten they will not be a member of the old established guard. It will be some new, nervous arrival unsure of his position and eager to close the door behind him. It’s perfectly silly. There is no old guard high society anymore, so there is hardly anyone who is bona fide “society”. Contemporary society is made up of what the old guard would derisively call “New People” and this is not going to change one iota during our lifetime. So what it is that constitutes society now is anybody’s guess. Old money and old family name still carry much weight, but charm, good manners, beauty and intelligence all count just as much. And don’t forget success. Society loves success. Unfortunately, notoriety can now be added to that list. In fact, in some cases it seems the mere existence of Fame will propel an individual into Society. There is a definite distinction between a climber and a bounder. Bounders are those who charge forth unequipped and turn people off with their naked ambition. So do not a bounder be. There’s a great quote from William Makepeace Thackery’s Vanity Fair that says, “I knew she was a climber. I had no idea she was a mountaineer.” For the record, SP is an unabashed Social Climber and moonlights as a Name Dropper.

Instead of stomping on someone’s climb, why not turn around and give them a hand? To beat our controlling metaphor lifeless, here are some mountain climbing terms that might come in handy for this discussion.

Dyno – Short for “dynamic,” a gymnastic upward leap for a distant hold.
Many times I hear the term Social Climber uttered after this act has occurred. Someone has risen too quickly and it makes others on the climb jealous. Hence you begin to hear the rumblings.

Flash - Completing a first attempt at climb with no falls (or resting on the rope) with the help of some beta either in the form of observing another climber or receiving instructions with regard to technique.
Some people accomplish the climb with apparent ease, whether by famous family name or a big fat trust fund. These are the breaks and the accidents of birth. You can only admire and wish them well while exerting your own natural talents.

Muddling – This refers to a climber who sometimes lets small, bad decisions turn into big ones.
These are the bounders who show their hand. They seem too ambitious and frighten people away. The key to climbing is to not to let on that you really care. Once you are seen as wanting it, the climbing whisper will turn to clamor and the door wills begin to close.

Redpoint- A complete ascent of a climb without falling (or resting on the rope), with some prior knowledge of the climb. A Redpoint can be achieved if the climber has previously failed at the climb and has come back to complete a clean climb.
F. Scott Fitzgerald once famously said, “There are no second acts in American lives,” and this has generally proven to be true. Observe the signs, follow the leader, and keep your mouth closed.

Rack - The collection of protective devices that a climber carries on a route. This is attached to harness loops or on a sling slung across the shoulders.
Your rack should be full of charm, classic clothes, intelligence, a well-groomed appearance, respect and curiosity. The sooner we grasp the fact that we have much to learn will not only carry us far in society, but in business, and hence closer to living the life we want to live.

Subjective Hazards – These are simply hazards caused by the climber: ignorance, improper training, poor judgment, inadequate equipment, and poor conditioning as well as too much confidence, false pride, and fear.
I think this one is self-explanatory and needs no shaping or editorial to fit to our purpose.

Vertigo – This refers to a sensation of dizziness or loss of direction.
It is a grand world out there and if you are not accustomed to it, you can lose your balance. As you begin to be invited to more events, you will witness things you haven’t seen before and it can be dizzying. Just remember to close your mouth and try not to let your eyes bug out of your head.

Zipper Fall – This refers to a fall of such length and velocity that the climber’s protective devices are ripped from the rock in rapid succession.
Oh, this is the saddest one of all. When you’ve come so close and it’s all ripped away. This can happen when the head swells, the nose points upward and the condition of Piss Elegance takes over the body’s molecular structure. Pride does go before the fall. Always be humble, polite, respectful and above all appreciative.

Source: www.abc-of-rockclimbing.com

Speaking of social climbing, it seems some of us are on the move to new cities and need to take the first social baby steps before we can even think about climbing. A reader below illustrates the point.

Dear SP,

I feel like I found a kindred spirit when a friend introduced me to your blog. I was taught from an early age some very simple rules of etiquette and along the way I’ve had an opportunity to work and play with some really extraordinary folks – picking up little tricks along the way. Your blog is invaluable.

I’m a bit frustrated as I’ve just moved to Seattle after living in Los Angeles for 19 years only to find that the state of social grace is appalling. When in Los Angeles, I found that even in that city that is typically celebrated for its laid-back lifestyle, there were little islands of civility that I could always go to.  If you were in my situation, and were looking to meet conscientious, like-minded socials in a new city, where would you start looking? As ridiculous as it may sound, I’m beginning to think I have to join an exclusive social or yacht club to meet new acquaintances. Surely it must be simpler than this. Could you offer any advice?

Kind regards,
S

Dear S,
It is very difficult to meet people when we move to a new city, especially as we get older and we aren’t out in the clubs every night. Introductions are always preferred. Do you have anyone in your friend Rolodex (or Facebook) that could make an introduction in Seattle? I am afraid to say that to break into a social set of a certain caliber in a new city with no introduction is not the easiest thing to do, but it can be done. And I am sad to say this, but it will cost a little money. You won’t be able to join any exclusive clubs as those take recommendations. You will  however be able to join the local arts organizations and that is were society dwells. Take on the local opera, dance, chamber music or art scene. Stick your toe in by attending openings, performances and the like. Once you’ve found the organization that suits you, join the patron group. There are many levels to patron’s group that charge different costs for entry and this will put you smack in the middle of the local cognescenti. This will get your foot in the door. What you do once you’re there is entirely up to you. Be gracious, charming, interesting, intelligent, respectful, relatively sober and not too pushy. Good luck.
Cordially,
SP