Comments on: Dress Code: Formalities

By: ASK SP: Readers’ Queries Answered

ASK SP: Readers’ Queries Answered — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 16:16:00 +0000

[...] The Way it Should Be (and historically always was) See previous post here. [...]

By: Mr. Wm. White

Mr. Wm. White — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 18:59:40 +0000

SP,

I very much enjoy your site, and I find this particular post to be utterly essential reading for any gentleman who seeks acceptance into polite society.

I thought I might bring to your attention a blog post that I wrote a few months ago on this same subject, but geared towards classical musicians. As a classical musician myself, I frequently work with students and find that the young men among them rarely have even the most basic concept of appropriate attire.

http://www.willcwhite.com/2009/03/vitalis-and-barbasol/

Perhaps your readers will find interest in the sorts of considerations that we must keep in mind in the music business. All the best to you in your continuing endeavors to re-civilize and de-heathenize our society.

By: GadgetBoy

GadgetBoy — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 09:37:20 +0000

I was recently invited to an engagement party at a beautiful home in Scarsdale, NY and was advised that the dress code was “country club casual”. I wore loafers, khakis and a blue button down shirt and fit in fine; my attire was appropriate compared with everyone else. However, after reading your article I wonder if I my choice of clothing truly matched the dress code indicated.

Dear GadgetBoy,
You seem to have been comfortable in your sartorial decisions, as you say you were appropriately dressed by the standards of the other men in the room. That said, if you and everyone else had been in shorts and grungy t-shirts, would that have made it appropriate? I would have worn a tie.
Cordially,
SP

By: Jill

Jill — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 14:24:25 +0000

“Classy” makes me cringe!

By: Cat

Cat — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 01:48:40 +0000

I love dress codes and under the category of “Learning something new”,
I always thought “Formal” meant Black Tie and that if White Tie was
the order of the day, the invitation would say “White Tie” or “White Tie
and Tails”. I must disagree with SP on one point: Jeans are NEVER
acceptable except on the ranch or camping trips and the like. Talk about
a salmon trying to swim upstream! I wish you had been at the theater
a few weeks ago. It was a live performance and the Music Center
in L.A. Not an opening night but an evening performance of a concert
by two very venerable stars of the Broadway stage. SP would probably
have been apoplectic at the horrifying modes of dress on display. And
not just by young people. Most of the audience of all ages were dressed as if they were going to weed the garden. One young woman
was wearing short shorts, a cotton tank top and flip-flops!

In any case, I will admit that I love being a slob but it’s much nicer
to swap jeans for linen slacks and a tee shirt for going to the market
instead of ripped old jeans, (some of which cost over $1,000.00) Will
this stupid fad ever die away????

But while we are on the subject, is there a difference between what a
lady should wear to a “Formal” (White Tie) event and a “Semi-Formal”
(Black Tie) event? I think they both call for a full on evening gown
but you may know of a subtle difference that has eluded me.

With Thanks,

Cat

By: Johann Faust

Johann Faust — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 21:34:12 +0000

Dear SP,
I was once invited to a dinner party that did not indicate dress code. Some of my fellow invitees explained to me that it was a costume party (or as they like to say in some locales, “fancy dress”). Well, since I love a costume party as much (OK, probably much more) than the next person, I showed up for dinner in full pirate regalia, including eye patch and parrot. As you have probably guessed by now, it was not a costume party and I was the victim of a cruel joke. Given the obvious importance of the dress code, how would you suggest I retaliate against the perpetrators of this insensitive farce?
Sincerely,
Black Bart

Dear Black Bart,
I am still laughing at your inquiry and thank you immensely, as I am sure your dinner host did. What joy you must have brought to her face when you showed up in Fancy Dress. You sound like a man with a deep sense of humor as well as a strong sense of yourself, so I am not worried by your friends’s attempt at amusement on your behalf. We should all have such friends. As for retaliation, I think you will find the appropriate time and place to return the favor. Until then, ahoy matey.
Cordially,
SP

By: j gettinger

j gettinger — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:59:19 +0000

I was invited to a Law School celebration at a NY destination venue (old bank converted to party space): drinks, buffet of tastings, live music. The invitation said cocktail attire. In line with your The Way It Is, I wore a blazer (odd jacket) in English tweed, gray worsted dress pants, forward point collar shirt and tie, bench made shoes (lace up three eyelet). Many of the men were in business suits, many in blue blazers, some had no ties; a few couples were semi-formal.

Was I under dressed? Were the couples in black tie overdressed and showing off?

Dear Mr. Gettinger,
I am sure you looked dapper and if you were comfortable, that is the most important thing. I do think that tweed can look a little Country, hence the Town versus Country conundrum. In NYC, a suit is the most appropriate thing a man can wear to the event you’ve described. As for the men in black tie, I would assume they were on their way to another event after yours that called for semi-formal. Otherwise, yes, they were showing off and probably a bit ridiculous.

Cordially,
SP

By: Social Primer is a great site. | The Gentleman Mason

Social Primer is a great site. | The Gentleman Mason — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:31:16 +0000

[...] a reason why I keep Social Primer in my sidebar. This is it. For the record, in America, there are only five dress codes that should ever be printed on an [...]