Social Primer

SP has written before about that particular creature known as the Conversation Hog and judging by readers’ responses, it seems many of you have come across this porcine annoyance a time or two as well. Now let us turn our attention to another player in the little show called The Art of Conversation and he is The Interrupter. You surely know him well. He lurks in the shadows of the conversation stage and, in the boldest of cases, struts right down center stage. Just as you begin to tell a story and just as you posit the subject, The Interrupter cuts you off and hijacks the subject for his own tale.

 
As some of you may have detected, SP considers himself something of a bon vivant who can tell a damn good story. Oh no, you say? These little posts can become quite rambling and not so funny or clever enough as to hold your attention? Well you should hear me then. It’s all about the inflection. Oh, you have heard me you say? And you still dispute my bona fides as a raconteur? Well pipe down there please. I am trying to make a point.

 
So, as I was saying there are few things that annoy SP more than being interrupted at the outset of a story. Now, sure, we can all go on a little long and a gentle prodding or corralling of a speaker is permissible and often times appreciated by others whether at table or gathered in a tight little circle keeping warm with conversation and cold drinks. But to lunge into a story, hijacked from another speaker just as he’s begun is a high crime against humanity. And SP does not stand for it. Sometimes – in certain situations — what is called for is a little Guerilla Etiquette. I have spoken of Guerilla Etiquette before but just to remind, GE is when you see an act of incivility so egregious that you are compelled to break face and correct it. I call this Guerilla Etiquette because actually correcting abhorrent behavior is anathema to being well-mannered. The truly well-mannered turn a benevolent cheek and never mention or acknowledge a breech in civility. The difference here is that that method doesn’t teach a lesson or correct behavior, it only excludes the poor buffoon from any future opportunities as the doors eventually closes in his face. The GE maneuver not only corrects behavior but hopefully allows the transgressor to see the error of his ways and hence move one step closer to civility. Oh no, two digressions in one post.

 
So how does one gracefully employ GE when trampled upon by The Interrupter? It is quite simple really, just hi-jack the conversation right back. SP has an acquaintance who is a serial interrupter. In all other aspects he is a true gentleman: well-mannered, a snappy dresser and one of the most generous hosts I have ever come across. But Lord does he have a bad habit of interrupting. I have embarked on many an anecdote only to be cut off two sentences in by The Interrupter. I have tried all the conventionally polite tricks. I have waited until he has finished and gently pulled the conversation back around. And I have given up and lost my story in the midst of his ramble. Since I have known this gent for a while, I have had time to work out the kinks in this conundrum so trust me when I assert the following. I have resorted to pulling GE on this man and it seems to work. I simply refuse to relinquish the floor. When I begin a subject and he cranks up and pipes in I just keep talking. Not louder or more forceful, but just in the same manner. The other participants in the conversation seem a little bewildered at first, not knowing whom to look at or listen to. The interrupter has noticed that I refuse to be hijacked and simmers down. It works like a charm and I have to admit, I get a small satisfaction in seeing the flicker of confusion cross his face when he has failed in his attempt at stealing the conversation. At the end of my story, I return the ball to the chastened Interrupter and ask him to please continue now with his fascinating tale. Nine times out of ten he can’t remember what it was that was so damn important that he felt compelled to interrupt. It wasn’t about the tale, it seems, only the attention. Now SP in no way recommends or encourages cutting people off at the pass as a matter of sport. I am just offering a solution to an extreme case of a repeat offender who is a fixture in your life. Strangers and new acquaintances (or elders for that matter) should never be subjected to the precision strike of GE. This, you see, would be not only ill-manned, but cruel. No, GE is best left to the ones you must endure. SP is not afraid to snatch back a conversation and neither should you. Just handle it with grace.

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