Social Introductions

Granted there are times when the rituals of etiquette can seem archaic. The custom of a gentleman walking on the curbside of the street, for example, may in our harried times seem a ridiculous antiquated notion and one less thing for a modern man to worry about. The point of etiquette is to arrive at or settle upon a collective agreement of civility so that we may all coexist pleasantly on this ever-crowding planet. As civic laws are to the municipal well-being and protection of the individual, etiquette is to the well-being of the whole of humanity. Etiquette is the vault for mutual respect and ensures civility in the face of an ever hostile environment. All this circuitous meandering, by the way, is merely a distracting prologue to let SP talk about one of his pet peeves and that is the correct way of introducing new acquaintances whether in a business or social environment.

As is the case with most of the rituals of etiquette, man defers to woman as younger defers to older or less distinguished to more so. Why is this the case? Simple respect. For example, if you would like to introduce your high school-aged cousin Elizabeth Hadaway to your mother’s friend from the garden club, you would say, “Mrs. Highwater, may I present Elizabeth Hadaway?” Or, if “present” seems pretentious or formal, you might say, “Mrs. Highwater, I would like to introduce Elizabeth Hadaway.” Or, if you are standing between the two of them you could say “Elizabeth Hadaway, Mrs. Highwater.” Think of it as if you are gently handing the present of Elizabeth to the recipient Mrs. Highwater. The point here is that you are presenting the younger or less distinguished person to the older or more distinguished. The same would stand for gentlemen. “Mr. Highwater, may I present my cousin Charles Hadaway?”

If the people are the same age, you would present the gentleman to the lady. “Mrs. Highwater, may I present Barton Bullweather?” Never say Mr. Barton Bullweather. By his age and bearing, Mrs. Highwater will know he is a mister. There are exceptions to this rule, in the cases of high-ranking officials or clergy which will be discussed later. Just remember, introductions are based on respect . To that end, you would present your wife, girlfriend or boyfriend to your boss. “Mr. Wallingford, may I present my girlfriend, Julia Wannamaker.”

In everyday situations where the individuals are all the same age or generation, you would present the man to the woman: “Robert Johnson; Julia Wannamaker,” or “I would like you to meet Robert Johnson.” The thing to remember here is to always use given and surname (first and last).

These are simple rules that will serve you well. And as always, it is correct.