Summer Wedding: WASP Style

A reader writes that he has been invited to a high-WASP wedding in Northeast Harbor, Maine and while he prides himself on being prepared – sartorially speaking — for any social situation, this invitation has sent him into a packing panic. To begin with, the wedding takes place in the middle of August and the reader is spending the summer at his Cape Cod house miles from his home-base closet. The clothing in his summer suitcase is limited, at best. Now an invitation arrives for a long weekend that will include many social mixers, a rehearsal dinner, the wedding, the reception and a lobster picnic on a private island. To add to his apprehension, our friend is a guest of a guest. He doesn’t know these people and has no idea what this circle of strangers wears and how formal the attire will be. I say calm down, take a deep breath and begin the planning by taking a gander at the invitation, the location and the reputation of the place.

First of all, Northeast Harbor is the last bastion of the New England WASP. It is a boating community and the summer home of what some describe as the American aristocracy. The denizens aren’t flashy or fashionable even. They are ultra-conservative, and this is high summer.

The rehearsal dinner is to be held at an old gentlemen’s club. This one is easy. A dinner means evening and evening in the summer at a private club means navy blazer, white shirt, a colorful tie, khaki pants (or Nantucket Reds), black belt, black Gucci loafers without socks and a favorite watch. Or, if the loafers are brown, then so is the belt.

The wedding begins at 5:00 PM, which means informal (after 6:00 P.M. means formal). For an informal summer wedding, I love a crisp, beige linen suit, pink shirt, brown, white or navy silk tie and a similarly matching pochette. Or, better yet a raw silk blue jacket and a pair of white linen pants instead of the suit but keep the rest the same. And to finish with a flourish, I would wear a pair of black, velvet slippers with a monogram on the vamp (that’s the top of the shoe). Admittedly, velvet slippers are almost too Jet Set for Northeast Harbor, but SP is a bit brazen in the company of the ultra preppy, probably something left over from university days. Take the dare if you are feeling confident. Otherwise, stick to the rules. I would like to take this moment to remind you that the Duke of Windsor always wore velvet slippers in the summer — no socks — and who can argue with the DOW?

The free time in between events will most likely mean sailing and/or boating – Northeast Harbor is renowned for the maritime activities, so that’s easy. On Sunday there will be a lobster picnic on a private island. Here he should sport a Lacoste, Polo or gingham shirt with white or navy shorts and Sperry Top-Siders. Take a light cashmere or cotton sweater thrown over the shoulders (or tied around the waist) for the definite chill he will encounter on the water and on the island as the sun sets. Finally, as old-fashioned as it may sound, I will advise our friend to pack pajamas. When you are staying with a friend’s family in a grand old house, you will absolutely want to pack a nice pair of conservative pajamas, a light cotton robe and slippers. Not that he will be parading the pajamas around in front of anyone, Lord no. One should always dress to leave your room, but just in the case that he is discovered in the hallway or in the bathroom, he will be appropriately dressed in his robe and pajamas. Should he come upon some member of the family, especially the mother or grandmother, God forbid he is caught in baggy sweat pants or worse! Naked is not WASP-y, preppy yes, but WASP-y no.

SocialPrimer recommends: Navy blazer from Brooks Brothers, Nantucket Reds from Murray’s Toggery Shop on Nantucket www.nantucketreds.com, Navy, cotton pajamas from Brooks Brothers, Velvet slippers from www.StubbsandWootton.com. Be sure to take an appropriate hostess gift as well. (see earlier post on Be a Good House Guest.)

For further reading, please see this post on Charleston Summer Wedding Style