Be a Good House Guest

If there are elements of living one must learn if one aspires to enjoy the marrow of life, being a good house guest must rank at the top of that list. It is not only important, it is necessary. Being a good house guest is another one of those keys to the good life that SP is always going on about. In your role as house guest, if you can entertain your host and fit seamlessly into her household, you will be invited back time and again. And you will have your pick of the best rooms in the best houses in the best locales.

So you’ve been invited to Southampton for the weekend. We’re not talking about some twelve-person frat boy share here. You’ve received an invitation to a private house with a small party of friends. The first rule of being a good house guest is: NEVER act like a guest. Do not arrive at someone’s house acting as if you’ve checked into a luxury hotel. No one is there to wait on you, unless of course there is a staff of servants, but this situation is unique and we’ll save that for another post. Before you even get in the car  or head down to the train station, first you must pack lightly and carry your things in a chic bag. No host wants to see you stumbling through her door with loads of luggage or spilling out of plastic trash bags. You should bring a small gift for your host whether this is your first visit or your fiftieth. If you don’t have time before you leave or would rather wait to shop while you are there, this is fine. It is nice to present something to your hostess that fits with her style and taste.

Here are some things to consider while you are soaking up the hospitality. Offer to drive to the liquor store and fill the cabinet with all the right liquors and mixers. Help prepare the dinner, set the table, clean up after and volunteer to do the dishes. Make that special dessert you’re known for, or if you’re not a cook, stop by the famous bake shop in town and pick up an apple cobbler and vanilla ice cream. Wear appropriate clothing and assimilate to the style of your host. Adjust to your host’s schedule. If your host retires early, so do you. If your host rises early, you rise early, unless she specifically tells you otherwise. And finally and most importantly, be wary of extending your stay. The polite host will offer and in most cases an extra day is acceptable, but be extra sensitive to her mood. If you sense this is just a perfunctory invitation, hop on the next train and keep to your original plan.

The point here is to completely alter your schedule, behavior and expectations to that of your host. Nobody ever said being a house guest was easy, in fact it can be downright draining sometimes, which is why you should use good judgment and caution before making a habit of it. But if you present yourself as pleasant and trouble-free, you should have a grand old time and head back to your life well-rested while running through the memory of a weekend well spent.

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